Thursday, August 23, 2012

Adam Kesher "An Allegory of Chastity" (2007)

Music critics really don't care if you listen to them or not, which is fortunate because nobody does. Let's face it, if you're got your mind set on listening to tunes by some crap artist like Bruno Mars or Pearl Jam, you're gonna do it no matter how many self-appointed experts tell you that it sucks ass, and the only reason they even bother is to impress people with how much music trivia they know and how many obscure bands they're familiar with. So lets go ahead and get that part out of the way: this CD sounds like a blender full of New York punk and post-punk set to puree, the racket of which can't drown out the ten-dollar AM radio in the next room that's tuned to the disco station and is cranked up so loud to compensate that it's all distorted with static. It's like a No Wave tribute to Donna Summer. When this Adam Kesher cat occasionally manages to rein it all in he comes closest to sounding like Richard Hell fronting the Members, and while I occasionally dig me some Ricky Hell, I'm not even especially pleased that the Members sound like the Members. I suppose this would've been moderately unusual shit back in, say, 1979, but in the twenty-first century it's just a mediocre noise record that will nevertheless make every know-it-all music critic spooge until he bleeds from the dick because he'll actually get to name-drop No Wave, Richard Hell and the Members all in the course of one review. I do have one major issue with this CD though: the cover. The girl is absolute yum and I got no problem with her (except that she's probably Adam Kesher's girlfriend, and he doesn't deserve that kind of luck), but the lettering is so poorly done that it's kinda hard to read, which totally boned me because I thought I was shoplifting buying a CD by a band named Roam Kesher. Why I felt the need to own a CD by a band named "Roam Kesher" is less defensible, but to be fair, I was pretty baked at the time.

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