Thursday, January 23, 2014

InAPPropriate Comedy (2013)

The few ads they actually ran for this flick (hey, why throw good money after bad, right?) made it look like The Amazing Racist: The Movie (to clarify, the "Amazing Racist" is a person. Look him up.), and while the Amazing Racist does appear in several sequences he's just a small part of the painful whole, which is basically a less funny version of The Kentucky Fried Movie that limits itself to two targets: Dirty Harry (last seen onscreen in 1988) and MTV's Jackass (which was cancelled like a decade ago). Making InAPPropriate Comedy, hilariously, instantly more out-of-date than Kentucky Fried Movie, which came out in 1977 for Christ's sake. Aside from the Amazing Racist's bits, which are funny (Don't agree? Go back to PC Liberal Town.), it's all grade school-level crap, like people falling in shit, dicks caught in mousetraps, and sexy Asian chicks getting fucked up the ass. (Hey, some of us had more interesting grade school careers then others.) I kid you not, farting would be a step up for this movie. And what is with the weird-ass wraparound implying that the entire thing takes place inside Lindsay Lohan's sweet, delicious [citation needed] pussy? I am unapologetically pro-anything involving Lindsay Lohan's pussy, but I guarantee that whatever does go on in there is far superior to this hopeless disaster. And I'm sure it smells like vanilla and rose petals besides. Lindsay looks supafine aping Marilyn Monroe in one scene (Advantage: Lindsay. Sorry, Marilyn. First Elton John gave your song to Princess Di, now this.), and the Amazing Racist never fails to be hilariously racist (Still disagree? Go beat off to The Daily Show.), but the rest of this partial-birth abortion of a movie makes shit like Meet the Spartans look good passable tolerable less bad... Okay, fine, there was no logical way to finish that sentence. Irregardless, take my word for it, racists and Lindsay Lohan fans, you deserve better.

Final score
Movie: D+
Lindsay Lohan's legs: A++++, plus an Oscar nod. Please notice me Lindsay. I love you.

Haters gonna hate.
While I masturbate.

New Mr. Satanism book coming soon! In the meantime, buy my old ones.