Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Psycho Cop (1989)


Did you ever see the movie Maniac Cop? Well this is nothing like that. In this flick, a bunch of drips who keep repeating themselves (maybe they're stuck in a time loop) are cruising around in a cherry red convertible that they totally don't deserve when they draw the ire of this goofy-ass cop who can't act and worships the Devil. He follows them to the place where they're staying, which of course is in the middle of nowhere (cell phones didn't exist in 1989 , but if they did I guarantee you wouldn't be able to get a signal out there), where he axes the caretaker, jams his nightstick down a guy's throat (heh), hits the ugly blonde with his car, knifes the mediocre brunette, tasers one dork, and chokes out another. Another dork, I mean. He also steals all their beer (typical cop). Finally the hot redhead has had enough, so she shoots the prick, after which she does a strip tease to the song "Cop Killer". Okay, fine, I'm making that last part up. The story is like something an autistic person would write, the acting is so wooden you could crucify Jesus on it, the gore is all but non-existent, and there aren't any tits, so the only decent part ends up being the redhead in a bikini. Kudos to her though - I'd hit that so hard it would file assault charges.

As I was chucking the VHS of this into the garbage I noticed a real blast from the past on the back cover. Check it out:


Remember those days? Can you imagine how pissed off you'd be if you actually paid ninety bucks for this piece of crap? On VHS? Christ, I would've stabbed somebody.
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8 comments:

  1. "Psycho Cop," so bad it's... horrible.

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    1. Well put. It's better than "Zombie Cop" though.

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  2. So, Psycho Cop is basically every cop ever.

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    1. Kind of, except he actually does SOMETHING, which is more than most cops will do, especially if they think that there will be any paperwork involved whatsoever.

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    2. Nothing wrong with doing nothing. I was a cop (scary thought) for six months on the morning shift. A good day for me was eight hours of no calls and no paperwork. Everyone goes home happy.

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  3. Love that it's the ridiculously expensive $89.95, but it's still priced "slighty higher in Canada". HAHA!

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  4. The sequel at least had a bunch of strippers.

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    Replies
    1. See, now that sounds like a winner. I might have to check it out.

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