Wednesday, May 23, 2012

The Initiation (1984)

Four sorority pledges vs. a homicidal maniac. That's known as a classic setup, ladies and gentlemen. This slasher flick stars known hottie... uh, what's-'er-name... the brunette from Melrose Place who was always being victimized and shit. You know who I mean; every week someone was beating her up, or raping her, or shooting her, or kidnapping her baby (seriously, this happened like three times), or fucking up her order at the drive-thru and then, when she went in to get her missing burrito, raping her with it. I'm not kidding - if you could get cancer by being raped by your own kidnapped baby, it would have happened to this chick. Anyway, she plays one of four pledges assigned to break into a department store as part of a sorority prank. The hottest of the lot assures her survival by backing out at the zero hour, but the other three go through with it and run afoul of the main chick's complicated backstory, who recently escaped from the loony bin by killing a Nurse Wretched type and jacking her wheels. The killer terrorizes the Chipettes and their idiot friends until it's time to wrap things up, at which point there's a big twist that could have only originated in the deepest recesses of someone's ass. It's a bullshit, ripoff ending to a movie that wasn't gory enough anyway, and, even worse, Melrose chick and the other cited hottie never show us their tits, but their mediocre friend does. Stupid movie, these aren't the tits we're looking for. You can go about your business. Move along.

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