Wednesday, November 28, 2012

505 Unbelievably Stupid Web Pages (2nd Edition), By Dan Crowley (2007)

Okay, before anyone asks the obvious question, no, my blog is not listed in this book. And fuck you.

Now that that's cleared up, let me start by saying that the cat who wrote this is a complete fucking tool. He isn't funny, he's more out-of-touch than your parents, and he seems to think that calling something weird when it's obviously meant to be weird is like this huge revelation and he's some sort of genius for pointing it out. Imagine a really square old dude making fun of "those crazy kids" and laughing at his own jokes while everyone else just stares at him because he doesn't have a fucking clue what he's talking about and you'll understand what reading this book is like. The first time my grandma surfed the Internet she sort of had this guy's attitude (except her comments were funnier), but she got over it after a day or so. Because she's not a goddamned idiot.

Don't take my word for it though. Let's check out some of Dan Crowley's brilliant observations:

This site is extremely stupid...

This site is so stupid...

I am very confused about this one. That makes it stupid in my opinion.

These videos are stupid...

Tomatoes are stupid.

Wow, what wordplay. What insight. Look out, Mark Twain!

As if his cretinous, obvious comments aren't enough, he also rates every website for "abnormality", "stupidity", and "entertainment", not that his ratings are consistent or have any meaning whatsoever. Like, how is a site that tells you what your phone number spells (which could actually be useful if you wanted to request the number BIG-DICK or something) "stupider" than a site that claims Santa Claus is the Devil? Seriously, Crowley, you fucking suck. I think I'm going to borrow your rating system to rate your book:


Do the world a favor and never write anything again. Unless it's a suicide note.
Want to read a book that doesn't suck shit? Consider one of mine.


  1. I recommend his Great Uncle Aleister Crowley's "The Book of Lies." At least that explains why Santa Claus is actually Satan. It's a rather witty read, too.

    1. The only lies are via the Amazon reviewers who said this book was good.