Friday, June 1, 2012

The Stay Awake (1987)

Okay, why would the ghost of an American serial killer travel all the way to Europe to terrorize a Catholic girls' school? Okay, it sounds like I just answered my own question, but in the very first scene this guy swore he'd return from the grave to seek vengeance on the children of the people who sent him to the gas chamber, so seeing that this rare opportunity has actually presented itself I think he should seize the opportunity before he goes flying off overseas looking for a good time. Serves him right that there's only a handful of girls on campus when he shows up, and, when you average them out, they aren't even all that hot. (I think the chick with the eyebrows is the one who's really throwing off the curve here - bitch looks like a goddamned Romulan.) So where is everybody? I missed it if they told us, but I think it's safe to assume that they all went home for some goofy European holiday, like Guy Fawkes Day or some shit, leaving behind only the girls whose parents can't stand the sight of them. Ha ha! I'm kidding, hopefully. Actually, the girls who stuck around are holding a "stay awake" to raise funds for the school, which I assume is an activity wherein you stay awake and this somehow produces money. So what does one do during a stay awake? Well, they watch a scary movie, sneak some smokes, play a prank on their chaperone, and, since they do have an entire gymnasium handy, play a little volleyball. None of the girls seems very enthusiastic about any of this though, until the chaperone suggests that they hit the showers, at which point they become absolutely giddy and holy shit I think we are on the verge of an honest-to-goddamned Catholic schoolgirl lesbian orgy here! Yes! Yes! Yes! For once, a movie --- -- - [I'm sorry, it is now 12:01, and as of 06/01/12 your selection THE STAY AWAKE is no longer available for instant streaming. Netflix apologizes for any inconvenience. May we suggest STAYING ALIVE instead?]
For more haunting reviews, check out my new book, Legendary House of Haunted Hell. Available for the Kindle, only on Amazon. Don't have a Kindle? Download Amazon's free Kindle app!