Monday, June 4, 2012

Jump5: All the Time in the World (2002)

All the time in the world? These brats should consider themselves lucky if someone allotted them that fifteen minutes they're always talking about. For those of you who are fortunate enough not to know, Jump5 are:

Britney! She needs to eat a sandwich!

Chris! He's a total fag!

Libby! Please, smack her across the face!

Brandon! Dork alert!

Lesley! She... actually, I would totally hit that. How old are these kids again?

As you can imagine, this tape is your typical puff-piece ripoff. There's one music video (full disclosure: the song's really not that bad), tell-nothing interviews with the band (to their credit, none of them seem to be total retards), another song performed – heh – "live" (this one does suck), some half-assed "making of" horseshit, and that's pretty much it. If you need a gag gift for your friend who's into grindcore, or a real gift for your friend who's into being a pedophile, this might be just what the monkey ordered, but other than that the only value this tape has is as blackmail when you find it in someone's attic ten years from now. Hey, if that person's a guy, it could be worth a hundred bucks, easy.

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