Sunday, August 18, 2013

King *@#!! Frat (1979)

Most people think the 1980's were all about The Breakfast Club, Punky Brewster, and jerking it raw to Tiffany and/or Debbie Gibson (and/or Punky Brewster), but the 1980's had a dark side too, and here's a prime example: King Fucking Frat, AKA Animal House without all the subtlety and nuances. The official fraternity car sports a vanity plate that says "HEY 4Q2", a newspaper headline reads "Big Fart Contest Announced" (I think this was even front-page news), the frat guys disrupt a funeral and steal the body (also, they're pretty much responsible for killing this guy), a dick is slammed in a window, someone shoots a blow-up doll in the head with a handgun, people hurl empty kegs around like I hurl insults at the French, and the dean promises the frat brothers that "I'll see this traveling circle-jerk of yours in leg irons!" Plus a Howard the Duck t-shirt (pre-the awful movie, so still cool), some tits, and a belly dancer with a muffin top (bonus: she's ugly, too). It's juvenile, low-brow crap, and there isn't even a plot (in fact, the big climax seems to occur in the middle, twice, but both times the movie just keeps right on going), but it still effortlessly trumps sissified garbage like PCU and (ugh) Van Wilder. Seriously, did fucking Van Wilder ever kill a guy? I don't think so. In a case like this you either buy in, suck it up, and go along for the ride, or you turn in your sack and slink back home. But don't take it from me - I think this exchange from King Fucking Frat says it best:

Chick: "You're not turning into one of those jerkoffs are you?"
Supposed Identification Character: "Do I have a choice?!"
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