Monday, June 10, 2013

SB/SE: Leading Into the Future (IRS Star Trek) (2010)

This is it: the infamous Star Trek "parody" made by the IRS to teach their employees... wait for it... absolutely nothing. Seriously, this video contains no educational content whatsoever. It's just a bunch of dumb jokes, like Scotty using a hair dryer on the engines because, apparently, they got wet. (Jesus Christ.) I'm not here to be outraged though; like most supervillains, I funnel all my ill-gotten gains into offshore accounts long before the IRS gets wind of it, so what do I care what they spend your money on? No, I'm here to review this thing solely as entertainment, beyond all the entertainment we're getting from watching the people responsible sweat under official questioning, I mean. And, as such, it's definitely lacking. First off, how can you make the captain of the starship Enterprise black and not cast Morgan Freeman? Really, how much more would that have cost? We already know money was no object, so get into the spirit, IRS slackers, and do this shit right. Speaking of getting shit right (and this one's for the nerds): you got the uniforms backwards. The captain is supposed to wear yellow, and the peons wear red. For real, who doesn't know this? Hell, "redshirt" is part of our cultural lexicon, as in "I wonder which redshirt will take the blame for all this gratuitous IRS spending?" Another Star Trek trademark, female crew members sporting insultingly short, sexist skirts, is entirely absent, but rest assured it isn't missed, because the women in this thing are almost all fat, or hags, or, in the case of the communications officer, some sort of undying, lich-bait super hag. Are you telling me that not a single hottie on staff wanted to appear in your absurd, quasi-illegal, funds-misappropriating Star Trek movie? Never mind, I just answered my own question. Of course the jokes are fucking terrible -- operating at about the level you'd expect if you made a sci-fi flick with several people from the office -- but I did raise my Spock eyebrow at the captain's response when asked if he wanted to buy some overpriced coffee:

Captain: "I've already spent my per diem for the day."

And later, there's another "joke" (it's funny because it's true, apparently) about getting rich by becoming a public servant! Seriously, why don't they just throw handfuls of money into the air while flipping us off?

In conclusion, I seriously doubt that IRS Star Trek will ever be made available for purchase, but if it someday is, trust me, save your money. Oh, wait, you already paid for it! Ha ha!
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  1. Reminds me of the Health and Human Services video that had Kathleen Sebelius sacrificing a child to Moloch but not before she gave a "What you talkin' bout Willis?" quip to Obama. Who would use a thirty-year-old joke? Dumb bitch.

    1. "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Barack?" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

  2. Now I get it. The black dude was cast as captain because Prez Obama demanded it.

    I think Bill Clinton casted the skags, if I'm correct.

    Too bad this sucked, I was hoping for the sequel, "The Wrath of Juan, or How We We're Invaded by Illegal Aliens."

    1. Personally, I'd tap that intern Clinton nailed. She was underrated.