A Chronology on Elm Street, Part 9

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child

A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4 banked so hard at the box office that the producers were probably knee-deep in Colombian prime for weeks, and once they stopped punching things and talking really fast over one another, moving forward with a Part 5 was inevitable. This time, Freddy is reborn as a Davis baby, but he quickly grows to full size, so as to better spout off one-liners. He morphs one cat into a half-man, half-motorcycle (It's the Murdercycle!); stuffs a chick with food until she dies; A-ha's a guy; rides a skateboard; proves that the main chick does indeed make a better door than a window; and, the most unforgivable crime of all, bores the absolute shit out of us.

You just got A-ha'ed, asshole.

These movies rarely present us with a cohesive, well, anything, but this time Freddy does have a goal: he wants to possess the main chick's unborn child. Although why, after dodging so many attempts to destroy him, he'd want to make himself susceptible to a simple coat hanger is beyond me. At any rate, there's only so much rampant idiocy a person can take, even if that person is a character in a horror movie, so someone finally enlists the aid of Freddy's mother, who eventually steps in and puts an end to his current spate of shenanigans. That's right, Freddy Krueger is ultimately defeated because someone tells his mom. And popular belief is that she subsequently grounded him for twelve years, explaining why the next movie is set in 2001. But as we'll see next time, popular belief couldn't be more wrong.

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