Saturday, September 8, 2012

How to play "Nerd Baiting"

Not so tough without that d20, are you fat boy?
Step 1: Gather several friends together and throw a bunch of money into a pot.

Step 2: Find a crowded comic book store (this will be the most difficult step).

Step 3: Decide who will go first. This person enters the store and finds a comic book that costs exactly one dollar. If you can't find a new one for a dollar (you won't) look for a designated "dollar box", which will be full of worthless garbage like this:

Fuck you, DC
Step 4: Player #1 pays for the comic, and then, very slowly, tears it in half right there in the store.

Step 5: Player #1 now finds a comic book that costs two dollars, and repeats the process, followed by comics that cost four dollars, eight dollars, etc. For extra dramatic effect, try to find comics that are sealed inside those stupid plastic bags, so you can theatrically remove them before tearing them up.

Step 6: Eventually, no matter how much he needs the business, the proprietor will throw Player #1 out of the store. The cost of the last comic destroyed is this player's score.

Step 7: Find another comic shop, and send Player #2 inside to take his turn.

At the end of the day, the person with the highest score wins the pot. Lowest score buys the beer and/or bails everyone out after they're arrested for instigating a nerd riot.

Note: I'm also working on a multi-challenge variant, which you ultimately win by playing "hide the lightsaber" with your apocryphal sexy nerd chick. You know, someone like this:
Disclaimer: Girl does not actually exist
If any of you ladies out there have a Supergirl costume and want to beta test this with me, let me know.


  1. What's your problem?? Without nerds, there would be no viable porn industry! Think of your Country, man!

    1. I didn't advocate wiping them out. And with less comics to read, they'll look at even more porn.